This is not sadness due to personal happenings but of circumstances concerning several ones I love. 'Things" I just can't do anything about, I am helpless, my God is not. So I turn……..
I am glib, so free with my words and for the most part, I do mean them. I pray that I am what I speak. Certain heaviness has entered my life and I am at the stage of learning to handle it and find that I am passionately hanging on to my Halleluiah. I know joy, Joy is a person, I know strength, Strength is a person and I am experiencing My Lord's enduring presence right here, now . His joy is not just an emotional happenstance that is infused in me, it is a strength that holds me tight in the wakeful hours and guards me from "peace- devouring" self-pity in the night. The storm in my life seems to be hovering on the shoulders of my grief and it is steering me toward that empty place that longs to swallows me up. If I give in to fear and misplace my focus on Joy, each day could become a time of looking at life through a sheer curtain dyed brown. This is a time of clinging of being needy of using God up in each moment. I will admit I need Him, He is the very essence of my every heartbeat, of the song in me, the prayers that welled up and overflow.
