Girl (?) On a Tightrope

This is the way I view myself quiet often, as a girl (speaking loosely) on a tight rope. Yes, there are times I feel I have the added attraction of stepping in some odd thing while performing. I have an inherent fear of heights, such as the fourth rung of a ladder, yet I so often walk right on the precipices of impending danger, willingly.

I am not speaking of physical danger though there is also that aspect in my life, that usually happens due to lack of attention or I just lazily just end up in a crazy situation. I mean emotions, life decisions, sometime the spiritual, and oh yes, let us not forget all of my pouring forth "free advice" spelled(d.a.n.g.e.r.!). All of these areas of life are strung together by an unheeded sense of caution.

It is so easy for me to entangle my emotions in someone else's life, to be lifted up and dragged down by the occurrences in their lives. Their fears become mine, their joys I feel deeply. When the fears are overcome I am floundering with an empty feeling, because I am not the over comer only the over looker. When joys are fulfilled then I am left out for they were never mine except only in an "outside looking in" way. It seems that I just can not leave it alone, I must let my emotions burn or glow in a pseudo way, they are not mine I have only borrowed them.

Should I sympathize, empathize, yes! Should I let the situations become my all in all, no! Am I playing God, I don't mean to, do I? These matters are to be left in the realm of prayers offered in behalf of others. Can I offer advice? After much prayer and in a gentle well thought out way, maybe. Do I do it in the right way, seldom! Thus the tight rope and the possible deep plunge resulting in a sudden and hard landing.

In my gigantic ego and borrowed wisdom, I often speak too quickly. With my all seeing (self perceived) eye, I think I can understand the start of the predicament, good or bad (how it began and why), the ongoing consequences (what they are living through and why), and the ultimate end (told you so) of most any situation. I truly mean to do this—I think—in a loving and compelling way, so as to sway the outcome in the direction I think it should go.

I obviously know this little flaw about myself, so why don't I stop? I am asking, truly asking, why don't I stop? Of course if you know the answer and you tell me in a loving and compelling way so as to sway me in the direction you think I should go, then be careful that you don't get your feet tangled while walking high and feeling mighty, we may pass each other on the way down!


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