Now that the years are speeding past and my time not always well filled, I seem to have the occasional bout of melancholy whether I am in a crowd or by myself.
Such times as-
I am in my car on a near spring evening the sun is low on the horizon. It is casting
not a warm glow but rather a sharp chrome lemon gleam through the clouds.It finds rest on the budding limbs of ancient oaks. I feel so lonely.I feel that I am in a Far country where the sun shines so brightly but gives no comfort.
I long for my Children, for the time I was “mommy”.I want my husband forever young, always laughing, and strong. I desire to fall into a deep long sleep where memories can wash me over and become flesh. My heavy heart seems to be made of stiff old leather.
Before the drive is over I shake off this reverie and I am in a Near country, yet my heart does seem to be made of old leather.
Father, bless me with the will to release the “new wine” of Your spirit to fill my old leather heart and You will leak and seep and flood my whole being.
My present days will be joyful. My future will be lived in anticipation of Your promises. My past will settle into its proper place of soft memories with sweet kisses and tears of joy.
All sharp edges will have become gently rounded and matter not at all.