My Mother-The Other Woman
Today I have been thinking about my Mother, Wilda Wahl, and I wanted her, not for any particular reason, just needed her presence. Even in my older years, I occasionally have these sentiments.
That desire has brought me to the melancholy realization that while I knew her as Mother, Mom, Confessor, Listener, and All forgiving heart, all of that just encompassed me. I wish I had known her also as, Wilda, the girl-wife, the mature friend and the “faith strong” world-facer. I faintly knew these things about her, in my selfish way. The person I discovered in her earlier letters, after she had graduated from this earth, opened my eyes to a real person who operated in this life apart from the things she meant to me, in the child- mother, relationship.
One was at a time in our history when we (Mother and children) remained behind in Texas while my Dad traveled home ahead of us. There was a sentence in one letter that broke open so many worlds to me. I knew my Mother had an adventurer’s heart, an explorer’s soul; an unquenchable trust in Her Almighty Father, God, these special attributes gave her a zest for living in whatever place she found herself in life. I somehow overlooked or did not notice her very special and tender thoughts, for fulfilled and unfulfilled shared dreams with my Dad. I saw the practical, very noticeable woman, but she dreamed the dreams that I never knew.
In those sweet and loving letters to my Dad, I discovered another “Her“, and It broke my heart for the woman I missed. In her simple way she ask the one question of him that touched every tender part of me,” Have you found your house on top of the hill?” It was so simple, but yet so full of meaning. My Dad was a dreamer in his spirit, (the “what ifs“, the “if I could’ve“), and my Mom had gone along for the ride.
I thought she only directly looked at today, I am finding she did look toward the horizon, and I ask myself, ”Could I have made some of those dreams come true?” I still laugh at one of her dreams I knew of, it was of me learning to play the harp. That was never likely in this world! Maybe in the next?
But I know that in this very day, whatever time that may reflect in the heavenly realms, that my Mother and Daddy are sitting in their mansion on the hilltop looking at all of their dreams fulfilled. In the between time when My Mother is worshiping (with her beautiful face lifted) and My Daddy is praising (in his natural tenor voice) they are waiting with expectancy for me, and I expect that they will be the second and third faces that I will see! At that time, I will know my Mother fully for I shall see her soul.
And yes, Mother, I know Dad found his house on the hill.